Lillian Grace!

Little Lillian finally has a middle name! We had several choices that we couldn’t agree upon, so we hosted a poll in our living room. We put out five jars each with a different name on it. Visitors who dropped by got a chance to vote for their favorite.  The leading two names were Lillian Grace and Lillian Kate. 

A few other facts about this little one:

She’s a good traveller, whether it be in her stroller or her car seat.

Sometimes we go to school, where she takes a nap and I do work stuff.

Sammy is not too keen on sharing the back seat, but he’ll get over it.

 

She gets more cuddles than any baby on the planet!!

 

Happiness Happens Day 27- Garden Food

Maybe it’s the gardening memoir that I’m reading but for lunch today I was inspired to do as much cooking as I could from things grown in my own garden. So for lunch today we had creamy peas and potatoes, corn on the cob, and toast.

The potatoes and the peas came from my garden.

The corn came from my dad.

The strawberry jam was homemade from strawberries that I picked last summer at Raugust’s. I miss them. 

I wish that the bread had been homemade but that will be tomorrow’s lunch because I didn’t think of it in time today. There’s something very happy about eating food that you have grown yourself!

Happiness Happens Day 26- 2 week check up

Today, the 26th, was a very busy day. LDS Family Services came over and did their home study to make sure we are bonding and taking good care of Lillian. We passed and we have been given the go ahead to proceed with the adoption. It will be a few weeks while paperwork gets completed and processed but then we are off to the courthouse!

Also today we went to Lillian’s 2 week check up at the St. Luke’s Pediatric Center that is just a few blocks from our house. Happy fact #1: I don’t have to drive across town when she is ill. Yea!

Happy fact #2: Her appointment went great!  She now weighs 6 lbs. and 8.5 ounces! That’s almost a full pound of growth from her weight when we checked out of the hospital! She is beginning to get little rolls and cute baby dimples on her arms and legs.

Happy fact #3: We no longer have to wake her up every three hours to feed her. We can now get up on her schedule, when she feels that she is ready to eat! So far, this means that we get up every 3.5 hours instead, but that half hour makes me pretty happy!

Happiness Happens Day 25- Corn on the Cob

August is a great month for many reasons, not least among them is the beginning of the harvest! On Sunday the 25th, we had BLTs and corn on the cob for dinner. I think that I could probably eat this for every meal for a month and still not be tired of it. Butter, salt, more butter- is there anything tastier? Probably not…

Happiness Happens Day 24–Books

I’ve found that having a newborn means that I have a lot of sitting around to do. This means that I have ample opportunity to get to the summer reading list that I avoided all summer.

I am currently juggling five different books: a mystery, a professional development book, a fantasy novel, a religious book, and a memoir. I have two books in the nursery (a Flavia de Luce mystery and Choke: Secrets of the Brain), I have a book by the armchair in the living room (Making Money by Terry Pratchet), I have a book on my Nook (Living a Covenant Marriage), and I have a different book on the Nook app on my phone (From the Ground Up: The Story of a First Garden). It only takes me a few seconds to pick up the thread of where I left off last and I’ve enjoyed the variety. There’s a little bit of everything on my reading plate right now.

I recently measured my pile of books to read. It’s over a foot tall, and one of the “books” in the stack was actually my Nook which has about 15 more books on it waiting to be read. I guess I’d better go get busy!

Happiness Happens Day 23– Adoption Progress

Happy Day!! August 23rd marks ten days since little Lillian has been born! Now that the ten day mark is up we have been able to move forward with the adoption!

Lillian’s birth parents went to court this morning to sign their papers. I feel like I can breathe easier now. There are no longer any entities that can step forward to lay claim to our little bundle of joy. No one can change their mind or decide that she should go somewhere else. 

I really can’t express in words, how good this makes me feel!

Happiness Happens Day 22–Bonding with Baby

Right around the time that I realized that this adoption really was going to happen, I started to fret about bonding with this little baby girl. My stressing was due, in part, to articles that I read online.  They made it sound like bonding was a complicated process, impeded by the fact that she hadn’t heard my heartbeat or my voice while in utero. I was a stranger to her, and she wouldn’t ever feel at home with me if I didn’t work very hard to follow the steps outlined in the adoption articles.  I got rather worked up and worried.

Maybe this is more true of adoptions with older children, children who have known other mothers, other families. But our brand new Lillian has known me from the very first moment she was born. I have been beside her almost non-stop for two weeks now.

Last night we heard her scream over the blasted baby monitor at somewhere around three a.m. I got out of bed, fumbled with my housecoat, and sleepily made my way to the nursery. I don’t begrudge getting up at stupid hours of the morning. I do my best to respond as quickly as I can. I haven’t forgotten that motherhood is a special blessing and that I asked for this blessing. 

And it was all worth it when I opened the door. The moment she saw me she stopped crying. The look on her face didn’t need words to explain. She knew who I was and why I was there. The moment I picked up her stiff, angry little body she softened up and snuggled into my chest. She whimpered softly while I warmed up her bottle. And after she had eaten, I laid her on my chest to burp her and she wrapped one arm around my neck. I know that she wasn’t really trying to hug me- but I know she trusts me. I know she knows that when she cries or when she needs me, I’ll be there as best as I can.

Happiness Happens Day 21- bath time

Bath time makes me happy. I love the smell of baby soap, and baby lotion, and baby powders. Yum!  Jacob comes in and helps- it takes two of us to soap her up; she’s so slippery!  Then we bundle her into a big, fluffy towel and whisk her to her room where she gets to wear warm jammies and is swaddled up in a nice warm blanket.

As much as bath time makes me happy, Lillian doesn’t quite feel the same way.

Happiness Happens Day 20–more smiles

Everyone keeps reminding me that babies only smile because they’re gassy and whatever, but I tell you what- this is the happiest baby I’ve ever met!  She smiles a lot. And I swear I hear her giggle a little bit in her sleep!

She smiles when she is gassy, yes that’s true. She smiles when she is falling asleep and her muscles just naturally relax. But sometimes she just smiles and I can’t blame it on any particular “natural” function, other than her naturally easy going, happy disposition. 

Happiness Happens Day 18– Sundays

Sundays are such wonderful days. We slept in, we ate a big breakfast, Jake did a few chores around the house, and now it is time to watch tv, take naps, and rest up for a week of visitors and fun. Normally we would have gone to church, but we aren’t quite ready to open up that can of germs yet. Maybe next week… maybe.

 

The best thing about today is that Jacob is home! Between summer Annual Training and the state of Idaho being on fire, it has been a busy time of year for him. He took a 48 hour pass when Lillian was born so that he could stay with us in the hospital and come home and help us settle in. But then on day 3 he headed back to work. Luckily he gets today and tomorrow off, so we get to have him back for a while.

Happiness Happens Day 17- Pictures

 

On the 17th we went to Bethany Cook’s studio Set in Time Photography to get newborn pictures done. 

Lillian wasn’t a huge fan of getting her picture taken but she survived the ordeal and we have lots of beautiful pictures to show for it.  I was worried that Lillian wouldn’t cooperate at all, but Bethany did a great job. She clearly had some experience in working with itty-bitty clientele. Thanks Bethany!!  

To see a preview of the pictures check out Bethany’s website at http://setintimephotography.blogspot.com/

I absolutely love that beautiful face!

Happiness Happens Day 16- smiles

There really aren’t words to describe the feelings that come when I look at this photo:

I think my heart is going to explode!

Happiness Happens Day 15–Friends and Family

Jake went back to work today. He didn’t want to, but he had to do what he had to do.

I knew that being a new mom was going to be hard and that changing my sleeping patters would make me tired, but it has been so much easier because of the help of good friends and family members. I did start to get a little overwhelmed on the 15th, our first full day home by ourselves, but it got so much better with help! 

I was clingy-- clarification: I am clingy-- and I didn’t want to put her down, even to shower. It was a huge relief when Amanda brought dinner and came over to watch Lillian so I could get myself together. Then Aunt Alex showed up with homemade bread and brownies and made rolls for me too.

Both grandmas have made trips to the store for us and helped hold and cuddle while I laid down or tried to relax. Thank goodness for grandmas!  We have plenty of bottles, a beautiful bassinet, new, cute outfits to put her in, and when we realized that we were missing some other essential baby gear, others were quick to loan us theirs until we can get our own. It has been a huge life saver! Jake’s brother even came and mowed the lawn first thing this morning before going off to work at his two paying summer jobs!

By the way- on the 15th we took her back to the doctor like we promised we would. He said she was doing great. She was already beginning to gain back the weight that she lost the first night. She’s looking great and her SGA isn’t going to be a problem! Yea!

Yawning in the swing that’s on loan from Crystal!

Happiness Happens Day 14- Coming Home

Bringing Lil home was wonderful.  Because she was SGA or Small for Gestational Age her pediatrician had indicated he wanted to keep her 48 hours instead of the usual 24. I almost cried. I was exhausted and ready to shower in my own home.  Luckily, he changed his mind on the condition that we bring her back for a check up in 24 hours. Agreed!

She wasn’t too happy about being woken up to get in her car seat but she settled back down. 

When we got home we laid down and took a nap. Family and friends eventually began to stop by to see her. They seem to think she is pretty great. I would have to agree!

Happiness Happens Day 13–Lillian!!!

Warning- This is a long post   

I got the call at 3:00 in the morning. It was time to go to the hospital! I got there by 3:30 and Baby Girl was born at 5:59. She weighed in at 5 lbs. 15 oz. and was 18 3/4inches long.  I got to be there the whole time and I even cut the umbilical cord.

 

We spent the whole rest of the day with her most amazing birth mom. We watched TV and shared Baby Girl back and forth between us. Birthmom was the first to hold her after she was all cleaned up and swaddled, but I got to give her her first bottle. It went back and forth like that all day.

Jacob joined us around 3:00 that afternoon. He had been in the Boise area for annual training with the Guard. I had to call the American Red Cross and request he be given emergency leave to come home for the birth of his daughter.

He was exhausted from having been working 20 hour days for the past week and a half so as soon as he sat down he was out. That was okay because taking a bath had been hard work for her and she was out too!

Birth mom went home early that evening but Lillian had to stay for 24 hour observation. We stayed with her, sleeping on the hospital bed and the pull out couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable arrangements, but it was pretty nice. I think this new St. Luke’s hospital in Twin is pretty great. Everyone handled the adoption smoothly and there were almost no awkward explanations or uncomfortable moments. 

We have named her Lillian, but her middle name is still pending. We are still a little anxious about all of the adoption legal hoops to jump through, so as I always seem to need, please include us in your thoughts and prayers.

Happiness Happens Day 12- no baby yet

Okay, so this is more of an update than a happy fact. There’s no baby yet. No nothings yet. Our birthmom has an appointment on Thursday so we’ll know more then. Of course, hopefully Baby Girl comes before that but we’re just taking it one day at a time. 

Right now I have a hospital bag packed. I’m planning on spending the night with the baby at the hospital if its allowed. My friend, Amanda, helped me bake brownies today. I will pack these into my bag as well so that I have treats to share at the nurses station. My house smells like chocolate tonight.

I’ve been kept busy today which has kept me distracted. I went into work for a few minutes this morning to put away some more school supplies that I bought. Then I came over and got a visit from my friend, Christian. Then Amanda came over and took me shopping at JoAnn Fabrics. Then we made cookies. Then Alex came over to show me a wetbag that she made. It’s for keeping soiled clothing in. It’s a cute little bag with a waterproof liner. After our TV show we got a visit from another friend, Rachel, who brought me a cover for my car seat.

I’m feeling very spoiled with all of the Love that I got today.  It has helped me stay calm and not get too anxious.  I also got texts from several friends who were checking in to wish me a Happy Due Date day. As soon as I hear something, I’ll keep everyone posted, I promise!!

Happiness Happens Day 11–sleep

I know that this will be a precious commodity for the next few weeks so I’m trying my best to enjoy it while I can.  I do love languishing in my bed on a weekday. That’s really the true essence of summer vacation!

Happiness Happens Day 10- finished the nursery

Here are some pictures of my nursery which is finally finished!

The primary colors are red and blue. (oh so punny)

I have already spent many hours in this rocking chair, just daydreaming. It’s very comfortable.

The quote above the crib reads:

Read me a story,

Tuck me in tight,

Say a sweet prayer,

and kiss me goodnight.

Thanks Alex for cutting and hanging my vinyl!

“Aunt” Alex also helped me make a crib mobile. It’s one of my favorite things in the room.

Teddi helped me hang the wallpaper border of teddybears and bunnies wearing pink and blue.

Happiness Happens Day 9–An Organized Life

Haha! That title makes me sound like I’m not a total basketcase. That’s so not true. I’m losing my mind. 

I have been trying (and mostly failing) to stay calm and level-headed about this adoption. I’m trying to stay grounded in the reality that while everyone involved is 99% positive that this is a sure deal, nothing in adoption is a sure deal until all of the paperwork is signed. And that’s a long way off still.

So, even if this adoption was to fail (heavenforbid) there is some good news. My life is pretty organized right now because I’ve done the following things to keep myself busy the last few weeks:

1. My house is clean—swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, sanitized, organized, and decluttered.

2. My grocery shopping and food storage are all caught up. I even put together several crock-pot freezer meals to cut down on prep time later this fall. I can’t wait to try that homemade chili!

3. I’m ready for school. I have organized my classroom and written three weeks of lesson plans for a substitute and even made copies of all the worksheets, etc. The only thing I need now are my class lists so that I can make a seating chart.

Happiness Happens Day 8–Cloudy Weather

The fact that it is overcast today is making me very happy. It makes me think that maybe Autumn isn’t too far away. Yea!

Happiness Happens Day 7- County Fairs

Going to the Jerome County Fair tonight made me happy. I met up with my parents and sister and her family there.

There’s so much to do at a county fair. Even a little one like in Jerome. We ate hand dipped corn dogs, I ran into two former students (one pretended not to see me, whatev), we pet baby lambs, saw the cutest baby piglets, ran into old friends, met new friends, and ate an elephant ear.

Elephant ears make me happy. Fresh warm scone. Honey. Cinnamon and sugar. Powdered Sugar. YUM!

Happiness Happens Day 6- temple

I’m so glad that we have a temple in Twin Falls. It makes me happy that I can go whenever I want.

Happiness Happens Day 5– food!

Prijoskis are a favorite in the Schwab family. And I gorged myself on this yummy meat-filled pastry tonight.

August is a busy month in the Schwabedissen family. We have two birthdays and two anniversaries to celebrate! We had a nice big party today and Tiara requested this yummy dinner. An unhappy thought- some important family members weren’t able to be there. But the rest of us had a grand time!

Last night my mom made fried chicken for dinner. This is a favorite in the Fiala family. I gorged myself last night too. I’ve got to stop doing this. It’s soooo tasty.

Happiness Happens Day 4- Jacob

Happy 7th Anniversary! 

Happiness Happens Day 3- Sammy!

After a night away from home, I came back to this face. Happiness!

Do you wanna be my friend?

Happiness Happens Day 2- Women!

Today I am happy because I have some amazing women in my life.  I have a wonderful mother, wonderful sisters, wonderful mother-in-law, and wonderful sister-in-laws. I have wonderful aunts, cousins, and great-aunts. I have some of the most incredible, caring friends in the entire world, women that I’ve known from high school, from college, from work, and some that I’ve just recently met.

All of my baby related stress has been completely lifted because of the amazing women who are answering my questions, calming my hysterics, giving advice, and making me laugh. I’m especially thankful for the ones who let me call at odd hours of the day or who listen to my crazy, sleep-deprived rants. My phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from colleagues and former roommates who are just checking in on me. I feel blessed!

I have even had the privilege of meeting several more amazing women in the past two weeks because of my time in the temple and at Girls Camp. My ward is full of amazing women and I’m glad that I’m getting to know them better too!

So here’s a special shout out to all of the phenomenal women in my life! And now I’m off to Rexburg for the night to have a little bit more “Girl Time".

Happiness Happens Day 1- OMS!

Today I am happy because I love my job! I spent the entire day at school getting ready to take maternity leave.

I have great colleagues, great administrators, great resources available to me; what’s not to be happy about?

Also, I have the first week of lesson plans done! I have the first month planned out for me, the first two weeks of lesson plans are “admin proof”, and one week of plans that are “sub proof”. Making progress and being productive also makes me happy.

Happy Happy Happy

Just for fun I looked up the month of August on Wikipedia. And I learned something great! August is a very positive month!

If we lived in Europe, this would be the month to take a holiday from work. In America it is Back to School Month; that’s exciting! Jamaican Independence is in August- I bet that’s a party! It’s also National Psoriasis Month, National Water Quality Month, National Goat Cheese Month (what?!), Good Vision Month, What Will Be Your Legacy Month, Win With Civility Month, and American Adventures Month.

Coolest of all, it is Happiness Happens Month! I didn’t know what this was so I looked it up. Guess what?! There is an entire group of people who call themselves “The Secret Society of Happy People”. NO JOKE! I’d never heard of them until just now, but they’re not trying too hard to remain secret. They have a whole website dedicated to commemorating the little things in life that make us happy!

I decided to join their secret society (membership is free! happy day!) and so I am now officially a Happiness Ambassador. I don’t have specific responsibilities, after all that could be stressful and stress is not happy, but I get to go around sharing happiness. So as a challenge to myself I am going to share one thing each day of the month that makes me happy.

I have a feeling that this is a good month for this project to occur, as I am overflowing with happiness these days. But I would encourage anyone who wants to join me in sharing happy thoughts. Because sometimes even when you’re not looking for it Happiness Happens!

Going Forward One Day at a Time

There are only about four weeks until Baby Girl is due! This is going to go by pretty quick, and I feel like we have so much to do in order to get ready.  I am feeling very overwhelmed with how much we don’t know about parenting and taking care of new babies. Yikes!

As far as the legalities of the adoption are concerned we are taking things one day at a time. The best case scenario is that 10 days after she is born, we will go to court, finalize the adoption, and move on as a family. The worst case scenario is that we’ll bring home a baby girl for 10 days or so, fall in love with her, and then her tribe will somehow prove that she must be raised with a Native American family. The most likely situation is somewhere in between.  We may have to fight for her a bit, but in the end we feel pretty good about getting to keep her. In fact, I’m refusing to even think about that worst case scenario.

I don’t want to jinx anything so I’m just taking it one day at a time. We know that we will get to bring a baby home from the hospital so that is what we are preparing for. I know I will fall in love with her and bond with her and not want to give her up, but I’m not thinking about that right now. I’m just focusing on being ready to be the best parent possible for the first 24 hours, and then the next 24 hours, and then the next 24 hours, and then...

Adoption Waiting

There probably won't be any news on the adoption until our little girl is born.  We are moving forward and if drama ends up ensuing in the future, you can be sure that you will read about it here. But right now we are very drama free. 

So in the meantime, I've been reading as much as I can about adoption and infant care. In so doing, I came across a link that I thought was interesting. I'm sharing it here if anyone is interested.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-truth-about-domestic-adoption_1374892.bc

We are very lucky that we have such supportive friends and family.  The people in this article don't remind me of any specific people in my life, but I thought I would post this just to give us all something to do while we wait.

:)

Car Seat Safety Ratings

We’ve been shopping for baby things online, looking for just the right stuff. I was very interested in the Graco Snugride Travel Systems because my sister said they were the best, and I trust her completely.  She was right! Check this out!!

Adoption Update

Okay, this will teach me to try to keep things a secret. I tried to only tell our parents and siblings our news in an attempt to play our cards close to our chest with the new changes in our life. But let’s be honest: I’m not great with secrets. One thing led to another and today I found myself on the phone for over an hour, hoping I hadn’t forgotten to update someone in the know, which of course, I did. Anyway, the news has changed again, so instead of texting and calling everyone, again, I’m just going to blog about it.

Back story:

Last Tuesday the adoption agency, LDS family services, called and told us that we had been chosen by birthparents! I was ecstatic! Jake was appropriately cautious until he had all of the facts. They wanted to meet us in person this Monday!

I was so nervous Monday morning! I was up early pacing and stressing myself out. We met them in the LDS family services office on Monday morning. They were amazing. I haven’t met a nicer couple. Obviously for their privacy I won’t tell you anything about them, other than I think they’re great.  They are having a baby girl in August. We both really liked them. After we met with them, Jacob officially gave me permission to be excited so I went shopping! I got several little pink onesies and some diapers and bottles and little hats. It was fun. And my sister is helping me to make my own crib mobile.

So now to the update: The birth mother is Native American. There is a law that prevents Native Americans from adopting their babies to U.S. citizens. You can read a little about it here. So Tuesday afternoon we were told that she is not a registered member of the tribe so they can’t have an official say in her decisions.

However on Tuesday night we got another e-mail saying that she is considered an official member of the tribe because of her lineage and so they do have a say after all. Or at least, they’re going to try to have a say.  I don’t know what this means for the adoption. From reading the information on the link provided, I found several clauses that would definitely support our cause. I also found some that would not.

This, like most things, is completely out of my hands and no amount of fretting is going to help. But it is exciting, and it is very interesting, so I guess I’ll keep you posted.

Long Time- No Blog

It was pointed out to me this morning by my Number-One follower that I had not updated my blog in a while.  I asked him if he would like to take over the blogging responsibilities for a while, but he politely declined.

So. What’s been happening this summer? A million things! We’ve been working and playing hard all summer long. 

I have spent several hours each week in my classroom continuing to work on curriculum for next year.  The Common Core State Standards are coming and I plan to be ready for them! I also work with some great colleagues who have formed an impromptu/unpaid committee working to improve collaboration. It’s been super fun and I’m lucky to work with such awesome nerds.  My summer reading list has over 20 books on it and more are being added every day. I’m falling behind and drowning in things to read!

Jake has been busy working too. He went to Cambodia for most of the month of May, but then got to take two weeks off in June. Like me, however, time off just means working in civilian clothes. There’s always something that needs to be done.

Cambodian children

Eating tarantula

Tourist-ey

Recognize this sign? Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!

We’ve been doing a lot of work on our yard- maybe I’ll blog about that later- and I’m pretty happy with the way things are starting to look. If only we can survive this heat!

Jake’s brother and his family came to visit for a week in June. That kept us hopping! We love visiting with them and cuddling our favorite (read:only) nephew and niece. 

What’s a family reunion without some good shooting practice?

Time to CLEAN!

(This is secretly a blog post about procrastination…)

Yea for long weekends! Yea for company coming! Yea for the two of these things coinciding so well so that I have both time and motivation to clean my house!!

It is almost 9:00 on my Friday night and I am ready to scrub this house until it downright sparkles!!

I’ve got my army of help:

I’ve got a to-do list:

I’ve got my Pandora station blasting!

I’ve got reinforcements:

 

Now I just need to get off my laptop and get to work! 

(see… procrastination…)

Introspection

When was the last time you sat down with yourself, by yourself, and really inspected, analyzed, and evaluated your life?  When was the last time you allowed a second person to do it for you?

If it’s been a while, there’s probably a reason for that: it’s a very scary thing to do.  Who knows what you might discover?

For me, it was just last week. It surprised me on many levels. I was surprised that I needed to do any introspection in the first place and once I got started I was surprised by how hard it was to do. Mostly I was surprised by how good I felt afterwards.

It began with one innocent question, a variation of the typical “how are you?”. It turned in to an incredibly personal, amazingly deep four-day- long conversation and late night soul searching. While I won’t get into the details (see above adjectives) I would like to write about the results.

For better or for worse I have come to realize the following:

• I have many blessings in my life.
• I have talents that need to be put to better use. And I have the resources to make that happen. 
• I am ready to start making some changes in my life.

Instead of passively waiting for life to come to me, and instead of making excuses for my lack of personal progress, I need to get up and DO.

I need to set goals. I need to accomplish said goals.  I need to serve others. I need to find and/or work on hobbies. I need to be busier. And not just busy for the sake of being busy- I need to be doing something worthwhile with my time.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to fill my time with projects just so that I can avoid further introspection (although that is tempting). I need to start asking myself if the abundant amount of free time in my life can be put to better use than NCIS marathons on USA.

If you’re thinking about trying an introspection of your own, I highly recommend it. But beware. The results might surprise you.

Scammed

As you know, we have been trying to adopt for about 6 1/2 months now.  Nothing has really happened until recently.  A few weeks ago, we put our profile on a public site called parentprofiles.com.  They are an adoption advertising site which we pay to help us get our name out to just the right birth mother for us. 

Well, on Sunday night I got an e-mail from a girl who said that she needed me to contact her immediately.  I e-mailed her back right away and asked her to tell us all about herself. Yea!! Someone had picked us!

Monday morning I got an e-mail back. Her name is Hayley. She is from Europe on a student visa working on her Masters Degree. She is married with two kids who are still in Europe, but she accidentally got pregnant here in the States. She is due in two weeks (with a baby girl) and would like us to take the baby and never under any circumstances let her family find out about it.

While I was still a little excited, I began to suspect a scam. I contacted our social worker at LDS Family Services, whom I am so thankful for.  He also suspected a scam, but encouraged us to stay in touch and see what happened. Meanwhile, he was going to look into the legalities of this international- not really international- adoption.

I continued to exchange e-mails with her throughout the day. She avoided some of my questions, at first refusing to get a lawyer, then agreeing to one if we paid for it, and didn’t want to tell me much about herself. Jake and I began to discuss the possibilities of this being real.  We went into our nursery and began looking around and assessing what we might need. We almost began to get hopeful. And we ordered a changing table.

Then this morning she e-mailed me. She sent a picture of herself, a very small, blurry ultrasound picture, and she said that she had found a lawyer. However, he was vacationing in Dubai and would only cut his vacation short if we wired him $6,500 up front. And there it was: the scam.  Luckily for us, our LDS family services counselor took over. He called up the lawyer, a guy who really exists and really does do adoptions. We learned that the lawyer was NOT in Dubai. He had never heard of this woman. His wife would never cut short a vacation to Dubai for less than $7,000.

Needless to say within a 24 hour period we went on a small emotional rollercoaster ride. We went from hoping that someone had picked us, to realizing that we were the victims of a predator. Someone who read our profile, knew of our past history with baby girls, and felt that we were prime targets of her (or his) scam.

Who does this? Who goes out looking for weaknesses of others and preys upon them? Who takes your hopes and dreams, and then twists them around to break your heart?

A lot of people. If you need some disturbing reading, search for adoption scams online. This is not uncommon. Many of them worse than our story because other couples pour their life savings into a dream that never comes true.  To (mis)quote a friend, “While there are lower levels [of hell] to which one can descend, trying to scam a loving family who is seeking to adopt a child is quite near the bottom.”

Tonight I am extra thankful for the people in my life who are so supportive of us, and who are looking out for Jacob and I.