When we suffer a loss, of any kind, it is common to ask "why". Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to go through this? What have I done to deserve this? It's an easy question to ask, and an impossible one to answer. For some reason, we think that when something bad happens there must be a reason. However, when something good happens how often do we stop and ask, "Why? Why did this wonderful thing happen to me?"
Whether good or bad, the experiences that we have in this life are for one reason and one reason only: to help others. Christ suffered scorns and pain throughout his life and never asked why. He knew why. He knew that he was doing it for us. He suffered so that when we suffered He could be there to help us. We, too, suffer so that we may feel empathy for those who will also suffer.
When we lost Julia, Jacob and I were comforted by friends and family who had experienced similar losses. Our social worker in the NICU had lost a young child, both of our mothers had suffered late-stage miscarriages, and a good friend of mine had a baby with disabilities and so in her own way she was mourning the loss of the healthy baby for which she had hoped.
I was snuggling with my precious newborn niece today, but online I was watching and following another tragic loss of a newborn baby. I have been digitally following along as this young family and their extended relatives mourn and grieve for their loss. I feel their pain. I understand, in my own small way, their grief. I can appreciate the overwhelming magnitude of their sadness. I can appreciate it, I can even attempt to shoulder it for them for a while. And I can do that because I know the pain and I understand.
And this is why . . . this is why I lost my little girl. This is why I have felt sadness. It is so that now I can truly mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. Now, this young couple doesn't actually know me. They may not want me interfering in their lives, but I know that I can be there for me if they need me. This is why.
4 comments:
You're amazing. Your post gave me goosebumps. I'm glad you're getting time to snuggle with your new niece.
It's hard to accept why sometimes but I think you are right in it necessary for us to pass through trials - each unique to us - so that we can help others and gain a new eternal perspective. I can't pretend I imagine what you feel in Julia's loss but your perspective and your trial has helped me to gain a new eternal perspective and helps me appreciate my little one so much more. Thank you for sharing all you do. You give me strength each time you do.
Thank you for putting things in perspective. You're right, I've never asked myself "why me?" when something good happens. I think I will next time. Thank you!
Have you read "The Mother in Me"? I just read story in there that made me think of this, too. Although I can't imagine being able to help much with other peoples trials that I have gone through as well. But maybe down the road when the sting and anguish subside some I'll gain a better perspective and be able to be a shoulder to those now going through it.
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