Finding the Words

I’ve been neglecting the blog. Sorry. It wasn’t on purpose, but it wasn’t completely accidental either.  There’s a lot going on around here  and a lot to blog about. 

I could write about how the adoption is final and we’re so happy! We’ve been sealed in the temple and are a FOREVER FAMILY!

I could write about how strong Lily is- she holds herself up like a champ, she sits up, feeds herself, and is almost crawling:

3 months old

4 months old

5 months old

6 months old

I could write about how much she loves to laugh and play:

7 months old!

I could write about how going back to school has been both really hard and really fun. Lily goes to a wonderful babysitter which makes going back a little bit easier, but I really miss her smiles when I’m away. I have to block her out of my mind completely or I’d go crazy. I have the best group of students and coworkers ever so that does make my time go quickly and enjoyably.

I will write about going to the temple because that was as incredible experience that is very near and dear to my heart.  That will be another post.

So if there is so much to write about, why have there been no posts, you ask?  Well… it’s complicated.   This will sound silly, so bear with me.  This blog has the potential to turn into a mommy-blog. It’s what I’ve wanted for years. I’ve always been jealous of my friends who get to post about their family activities and their children’s milestones. Now I can do that too. I’m one of the in-crowd! And I feel a little guilty about it.

Not that I’d change anything for even a millisecond. I love this baby more than words can express. I can’t imagine a life without her. But every time I talk about her, I wonder about the people who aren’t so lucky. I wonder if they’ll sigh and say, “there’s another blog I’ll stop reading because I can no longer relate.”

Another reason I’ve slowed down on blogging about the baby is for security reasons. I know that I don’t know all of my readers and that was fine with me when it was just my husband and I. (Just try to stalk me- I have more guns in this house than fingers to count them on) but now there’s Lil’ Lil to consider. Does the whole world need to know about her every smile?  The super proud Me say Yes! and the more cautious me says NO!

So I apologize for the lack of blogs and updates. I apologize for the length of this post.  Please bear with me. I’m back. I’ve missed blogging so I know I’ll figure this out somehow.

Lillian Grace!

Little Lillian finally has a middle name! We had several choices that we couldn’t agree upon, so we hosted a poll in our living room. We put out five jars each with a different name on it. Visitors who dropped by got a chance to vote for their favorite.  The leading two names were Lillian Grace and Lillian Kate. 

A few other facts about this little one:

She’s a good traveller, whether it be in her stroller or her car seat.

Sometimes we go to school, where she takes a nap and I do work stuff.

Sammy is not too keen on sharing the back seat, but he’ll get over it.

 

She gets more cuddles than any baby on the planet!!

 

Happiness Happens Day 27- Garden Food

Maybe it’s the gardening memoir that I’m reading but for lunch today I was inspired to do as much cooking as I could from things grown in my own garden. So for lunch today we had creamy peas and potatoes, corn on the cob, and toast.

The potatoes and the peas came from my garden.

The corn came from my dad.

The strawberry jam was homemade from strawberries that I picked last summer at Raugust’s. I miss them. 

I wish that the bread had been homemade but that will be tomorrow’s lunch because I didn’t think of it in time today. There’s something very happy about eating food that you have grown yourself!

Happiness Happens Day 26- 2 week check up

Today, the 26th, was a very busy day. LDS Family Services came over and did their home study to make sure we are bonding and taking good care of Lillian. We passed and we have been given the go ahead to proceed with the adoption. It will be a few weeks while paperwork gets completed and processed but then we are off to the courthouse!

Also today we went to Lillian’s 2 week check up at the St. Luke’s Pediatric Center that is just a few blocks from our house. Happy fact #1: I don’t have to drive across town when she is ill. Yea!

Happy fact #2: Her appointment went great!  She now weighs 6 lbs. and 8.5 ounces! That’s almost a full pound of growth from her weight when we checked out of the hospital! She is beginning to get little rolls and cute baby dimples on her arms and legs.

Happy fact #3: We no longer have to wake her up every three hours to feed her. We can now get up on her schedule, when she feels that she is ready to eat! So far, this means that we get up every 3.5 hours instead, but that half hour makes me pretty happy!

Happiness Happens Day 25- Corn on the Cob

August is a great month for many reasons, not least among them is the beginning of the harvest! On Sunday the 25th, we had BLTs and corn on the cob for dinner. I think that I could probably eat this for every meal for a month and still not be tired of it. Butter, salt, more butter- is there anything tastier? Probably not…

Happiness Happens Day 24–Books

I’ve found that having a newborn means that I have a lot of sitting around to do. This means that I have ample opportunity to get to the summer reading list that I avoided all summer.

I am currently juggling five different books: a mystery, a professional development book, a fantasy novel, a religious book, and a memoir. I have two books in the nursery (a Flavia de Luce mystery and Choke: Secrets of the Brain), I have a book by the armchair in the living room (Making Money by Terry Pratchet), I have a book on my Nook (Living a Covenant Marriage), and I have a different book on the Nook app on my phone (From the Ground Up: The Story of a First Garden). It only takes me a few seconds to pick up the thread of where I left off last and I’ve enjoyed the variety. There’s a little bit of everything on my reading plate right now.

I recently measured my pile of books to read. It’s over a foot tall, and one of the “books” in the stack was actually my Nook which has about 15 more books on it waiting to be read. I guess I’d better go get busy!

Happiness Happens Day 23– Adoption Progress

Happy Day!! August 23rd marks ten days since little Lillian has been born! Now that the ten day mark is up we have been able to move forward with the adoption!

Lillian’s birth parents went to court this morning to sign their papers. I feel like I can breathe easier now. There are no longer any entities that can step forward to lay claim to our little bundle of joy. No one can change their mind or decide that she should go somewhere else. 

I really can’t express in words, how good this makes me feel!

Happiness Happens Day 22–Bonding with Baby

Right around the time that I realized that this adoption really was going to happen, I started to fret about bonding with this little baby girl. My stressing was due, in part, to articles that I read online.  They made it sound like bonding was a complicated process, impeded by the fact that she hadn’t heard my heartbeat or my voice while in utero. I was a stranger to her, and she wouldn’t ever feel at home with me if I didn’t work very hard to follow the steps outlined in the adoption articles.  I got rather worked up and worried.

Maybe this is more true of adoptions with older children, children who have known other mothers, other families. But our brand new Lillian has known me from the very first moment she was born. I have been beside her almost non-stop for two weeks now.

Last night we heard her scream over the blasted baby monitor at somewhere around three a.m. I got out of bed, fumbled with my housecoat, and sleepily made my way to the nursery. I don’t begrudge getting up at stupid hours of the morning. I do my best to respond as quickly as I can. I haven’t forgotten that motherhood is a special blessing and that I asked for this blessing. 

And it was all worth it when I opened the door. The moment she saw me she stopped crying. The look on her face didn’t need words to explain. She knew who I was and why I was there. The moment I picked up her stiff, angry little body she softened up and snuggled into my chest. She whimpered softly while I warmed up her bottle. And after she had eaten, I laid her on my chest to burp her and she wrapped one arm around my neck. I know that she wasn’t really trying to hug me- but I know she trusts me. I know she knows that when she cries or when she needs me, I’ll be there as best as I can.

Happiness Happens Day 21- bath time

Bath time makes me happy. I love the smell of baby soap, and baby lotion, and baby powders. Yum!  Jacob comes in and helps- it takes two of us to soap her up; she’s so slippery!  Then we bundle her into a big, fluffy towel and whisk her to her room where she gets to wear warm jammies and is swaddled up in a nice warm blanket.

As much as bath time makes me happy, Lillian doesn’t quite feel the same way.

Happiness Happens Day 20–more smiles

Everyone keeps reminding me that babies only smile because they’re gassy and whatever, but I tell you what- this is the happiest baby I’ve ever met!  She smiles a lot. And I swear I hear her giggle a little bit in her sleep!

She smiles when she is gassy, yes that’s true. She smiles when she is falling asleep and her muscles just naturally relax. But sometimes she just smiles and I can’t blame it on any particular “natural” function, other than her naturally easy going, happy disposition.