Happiness Happens Day 22–Bonding with Baby

Right around the time that I realized that this adoption really was going to happen, I started to fret about bonding with this little baby girl. My stressing was due, in part, to articles that I read online.  They made it sound like bonding was a complicated process, impeded by the fact that she hadn’t heard my heartbeat or my voice while in utero. I was a stranger to her, and she wouldn’t ever feel at home with me if I didn’t work very hard to follow the steps outlined in the adoption articles.  I got rather worked up and worried.

Maybe this is more true of adoptions with older children, children who have known other mothers, other families. But our brand new Lillian has known me from the very first moment she was born. I have been beside her almost non-stop for two weeks now.

Last night we heard her scream over the blasted baby monitor at somewhere around three a.m. I got out of bed, fumbled with my housecoat, and sleepily made my way to the nursery. I don’t begrudge getting up at stupid hours of the morning. I do my best to respond as quickly as I can. I haven’t forgotten that motherhood is a special blessing and that I asked for this blessing. 

And it was all worth it when I opened the door. The moment she saw me she stopped crying. The look on her face didn’t need words to explain. She knew who I was and why I was there. The moment I picked up her stiff, angry little body she softened up and snuggled into my chest. She whimpered softly while I warmed up her bottle. And after she had eaten, I laid her on my chest to burp her and she wrapped one arm around my neck. I know that she wasn’t really trying to hug me- but I know she trusts me. I know she knows that when she cries or when she needs me, I’ll be there as best as I can.

Happiness Happens Day 21- bath time

Bath time makes me happy. I love the smell of baby soap, and baby lotion, and baby powders. Yum!  Jacob comes in and helps- it takes two of us to soap her up; she’s so slippery!  Then we bundle her into a big, fluffy towel and whisk her to her room where she gets to wear warm jammies and is swaddled up in a nice warm blanket.

As much as bath time makes me happy, Lillian doesn’t quite feel the same way.

Happiness Happens Day 20–more smiles

Everyone keeps reminding me that babies only smile because they’re gassy and whatever, but I tell you what- this is the happiest baby I’ve ever met!  She smiles a lot. And I swear I hear her giggle a little bit in her sleep!

She smiles when she is gassy, yes that’s true. She smiles when she is falling asleep and her muscles just naturally relax. But sometimes she just smiles and I can’t blame it on any particular “natural” function, other than her naturally easy going, happy disposition. 

Happiness Happens Day 18– Sundays

Sundays are such wonderful days. We slept in, we ate a big breakfast, Jake did a few chores around the house, and now it is time to watch tv, take naps, and rest up for a week of visitors and fun. Normally we would have gone to church, but we aren’t quite ready to open up that can of germs yet. Maybe next week… maybe.

 

The best thing about today is that Jacob is home! Between summer Annual Training and the state of Idaho being on fire, it has been a busy time of year for him. He took a 48 hour pass when Lillian was born so that he could stay with us in the hospital and come home and help us settle in. But then on day 3 he headed back to work. Luckily he gets today and tomorrow off, so we get to have him back for a while.

Happiness Happens Day 17- Pictures

 

On the 17th we went to Bethany Cook’s studio Set in Time Photography to get newborn pictures done. 

Lillian wasn’t a huge fan of getting her picture taken but she survived the ordeal and we have lots of beautiful pictures to show for it.  I was worried that Lillian wouldn’t cooperate at all, but Bethany did a great job. She clearly had some experience in working with itty-bitty clientele. Thanks Bethany!!  

To see a preview of the pictures check out Bethany’s website at http://setintimephotography.blogspot.com/

I absolutely love that beautiful face!

Happiness Happens Day 16- smiles

There really aren’t words to describe the feelings that come when I look at this photo:

I think my heart is going to explode!

Happiness Happens Day 15–Friends and Family

Jake went back to work today. He didn’t want to, but he had to do what he had to do.

I knew that being a new mom was going to be hard and that changing my sleeping patters would make me tired, but it has been so much easier because of the help of good friends and family members. I did start to get a little overwhelmed on the 15th, our first full day home by ourselves, but it got so much better with help! 

I was clingy-- clarification: I am clingy-- and I didn’t want to put her down, even to shower. It was a huge relief when Amanda brought dinner and came over to watch Lillian so I could get myself together. Then Aunt Alex showed up with homemade bread and brownies and made rolls for me too.

Both grandmas have made trips to the store for us and helped hold and cuddle while I laid down or tried to relax. Thank goodness for grandmas!  We have plenty of bottles, a beautiful bassinet, new, cute outfits to put her in, and when we realized that we were missing some other essential baby gear, others were quick to loan us theirs until we can get our own. It has been a huge life saver! Jake’s brother even came and mowed the lawn first thing this morning before going off to work at his two paying summer jobs!

By the way- on the 15th we took her back to the doctor like we promised we would. He said she was doing great. She was already beginning to gain back the weight that she lost the first night. She’s looking great and her SGA isn’t going to be a problem! Yea!

Yawning in the swing that’s on loan from Crystal!

Happiness Happens Day 14- Coming Home

Bringing Lil home was wonderful.  Because she was SGA or Small for Gestational Age her pediatrician had indicated he wanted to keep her 48 hours instead of the usual 24. I almost cried. I was exhausted and ready to shower in my own home.  Luckily, he changed his mind on the condition that we bring her back for a check up in 24 hours. Agreed!

She wasn’t too happy about being woken up to get in her car seat but she settled back down. 

When we got home we laid down and took a nap. Family and friends eventually began to stop by to see her. They seem to think she is pretty great. I would have to agree!

Happiness Happens Day 13–Lillian!!!

Warning- This is a long post   

I got the call at 3:00 in the morning. It was time to go to the hospital! I got there by 3:30 and Baby Girl was born at 5:59. She weighed in at 5 lbs. 15 oz. and was 18 3/4inches long.  I got to be there the whole time and I even cut the umbilical cord.

 

We spent the whole rest of the day with her most amazing birth mom. We watched TV and shared Baby Girl back and forth between us. Birthmom was the first to hold her after she was all cleaned up and swaddled, but I got to give her her first bottle. It went back and forth like that all day.

Jacob joined us around 3:00 that afternoon. He had been in the Boise area for annual training with the Guard. I had to call the American Red Cross and request he be given emergency leave to come home for the birth of his daughter.

He was exhausted from having been working 20 hour days for the past week and a half so as soon as he sat down he was out. That was okay because taking a bath had been hard work for her and she was out too!

Birth mom went home early that evening but Lillian had to stay for 24 hour observation. We stayed with her, sleeping on the hospital bed and the pull out couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable arrangements, but it was pretty nice. I think this new St. Luke’s hospital in Twin is pretty great. Everyone handled the adoption smoothly and there were almost no awkward explanations or uncomfortable moments. 

We have named her Lillian, but her middle name is still pending. We are still a little anxious about all of the adoption legal hoops to jump through, so as I always seem to need, please include us in your thoughts and prayers.

Happiness Happens Day 12- no baby yet

Okay, so this is more of an update than a happy fact. There’s no baby yet. No nothings yet. Our birthmom has an appointment on Thursday so we’ll know more then. Of course, hopefully Baby Girl comes before that but we’re just taking it one day at a time. 

Right now I have a hospital bag packed. I’m planning on spending the night with the baby at the hospital if its allowed. My friend, Amanda, helped me bake brownies today. I will pack these into my bag as well so that I have treats to share at the nurses station. My house smells like chocolate tonight.

I’ve been kept busy today which has kept me distracted. I went into work for a few minutes this morning to put away some more school supplies that I bought. Then I came over and got a visit from my friend, Christian. Then Amanda came over and took me shopping at JoAnn Fabrics. Then we made cookies. Then Alex came over to show me a wetbag that she made. It’s for keeping soiled clothing in. It’s a cute little bag with a waterproof liner. After our TV show we got a visit from another friend, Rachel, who brought me a cover for my car seat.

I’m feeling very spoiled with all of the Love that I got today.  It has helped me stay calm and not get too anxious.  I also got texts from several friends who were checking in to wish me a Happy Due Date day. As soon as I hear something, I’ll keep everyone posted, I promise!!