Cherries

In the neglected garden of bygone years, the old cherry tree stretches its branches out, out, out. Standing on tippy-toe and balancing precariously on the top of the old wooden fence, we strain to reach each and every sour, sticky, succulent droplet of cherry goodness in the departing light. We laugh as the juice runs freely down our arms and into our shirts and squirts into our eyes. We are messy and sweaty, but we are also hungry for the sweet cherry pie made from Grandma’s recipe. This is a race against nature – for even one day more and the cherries would have been gone, devoured by the robins and swallows who favor the ripest fruits first. Even now we are almost too late. However, in the end there will be plenty for all. Our harvest has yielded enough fruit for several pies, and up in the top most branches dangle the fruits we were not tall enough or brave enough to reach. The sun has begun to set, shadows growing across the fields and pastures, and it is time to go inside and enjoy our summer bounty.

My Thoughts During Transformers: Dark of the Moon

First off- don’t worry. There are no spoilers here. You won’t know how the movie ends or how it gets there. I wouldn’t do that, I promise! I do make reference to some fight scenes though. (If you didn’t know there was going to be fighting you probably aren’t a Transformers fan in the first place.)

However, if my opinions or comments taint your watching of the movie I do sincerely apologize.  I really liked this movie. I got to watch it in 3D (my first 3D movie not at Disneyland) which was pretty awesome. It was action-packed, inspiring, and full of good looking characters!

However, I am horrible at watching movies! A little thing will catch my attention and bug me for 10-15 minutes. And when the world is being attacked by an alien race that’s a long time for a lot to happen.  I don’t think it would be such a problem if I wasn’t such a nerd.  I am really a HUGE NERD.

All in all I was doing pretty good until a character named Epps turns to another character and says, “Where is Sam and Carly!?” 

Of course this in the middle of a huge life or death scene, and do you know what I thought? I thought to myself, “That’s a subject-verb disagreement. He should have said, "Where are Sam and Carly?” Of course as I write this my grammar check says that this is perfectly acceptable so now I am second guessing myself.  Shoot.  Somebody help me out here.

I also kept wondering if this was really happening, how it would affect the earth’s rotation around the sun; and if it did, what that would do to the sustainability to life on Earth? Of course, as my brother-in-law pointed out numerous times several “facts” in the movie were not really true at all. I guess I need to learn to sit back and not think so much.

I did enjoy Josh Duhamel. 

Wait, that wasn’t supposed to be a period. Let’s try that again: I did enjoy Josh Duhamel’s lines about the cupola. I appreciate good architectural references. There’s nothing like shouting out orders like “Aim for the cupola!” instead of “Aim for the dome thingy!” because every good gun-toting soldier knows exactly what a cupola is. Bonus points for a good vocabulary.  I also liked that one of the fight scenes took place on Wacker Plaza. There was a lot of  whacking going on so that seemed appropriate. 

All in all, I left the theatre feeling very happy about the movie in general. I definitely recommend this movie! Now, how do I get my hands on my very own Bumblebee?

My Personal Quilting Bee

Well, summer has really just begun and already I am looking forward to cooler weather. Very rarely will you hear me complain about a good ol’ rainstorm, and I have been known to say on more than one occasion that I would be very happy living near Seattle where the weather isn’t so hot.  But that’s beside the point. This blog is actually about my basement and my plans to while away the hot hours in it’s nice, cool, relaxing atmosphere.

A few weeks ago my sister, Alex, started a quilt and it reminded me that I had started a quilt many many moons ago that was still unfinished. It also reminded me that I had received a quilting frame for my birthday and had yet to put it up. So…. thank you Alex for the inspiration to start quilting again. (Also for helping me buy my batting the other night).

Yesterday I spent over 5 hours putting my quilting frame up. The first three hours were the easy part – couple million pieces, an instruction booklet, and a dog that kept trying to steal the screws. It was the last half that was tricky; actually attaching the quilt to the frame.  Luckily my mom came over to help. Here are some pictures of the project from start to finish:

The 20+ page instruction manual.

The pieces all present and accounted for.

The finished project – minus the quilt. It looks a little bit like the robot thingies from Star Wars.

Mom and I trying to attach the fabric to the frame. It was much harder than anticipated. (Never let it be said that I only post photogenic pictures of myself on my blog).

Now I just need to get started quilting. 

 

P.S. The great thing about this quilting frame is that it folds down onto itself and stores easily in corners and under beds for when I eventually give up or decide to start some other project and need the space.

A Speedy Send-Off

Nobody likes to say goodbye. So what if we just avoid it all together? What if instead of hugs and kisses and tears and then more hugs, we just gave a quick peck on the cheek and yelled, “Go… I love you!” Well, that’s kind of how I sent Jake back to work this morning.

Due to technical alarm clock difficulties, we overslept – by almost two hours! Instead of checking into the airport at 5:30, we awoke at 5:47 when Teddi called from the airport to find out where we were. I pulled into the airport at 6:02, an insane 15 speed-infused minutes later.  Within another 15 minutes Jacob was boarding the plane amidst applause from the other passengers. 

When I came back home I found globs of shaving cream splattered all over the bathroom countertop, the house in disarray- evidence of our speedy morning.  It’s very quiet here now, empty. We had a fabulous fun-filled two weeks, that I will probably post about later.  Now,  I’m going to grab a nap and a shower and hope that Jake gets one too.

Since I didn’t get a chance to say good bye this is to my soldier: I love you. Be safe. I am already counting down the days until you come home again. You are the light of my life. . . xxoo

Something in the Air

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems that:

• the sun is shining brighter,
• the flowers are blooming prettier,
• the sky is looking bluer,
• the grass is growing greener,
• and my heart is feeling lighter. . .

Yep! My Sara must be on her way to visit!

Maybe I’m Dreaming. . .

When I woke up today I thought maybe I had dreamed all of this:

Nope, he is actually sitting at the kitchen counter this morning. It’s too good to be true!

Season Finale Week

This is the week of season finales for all our favorite TV shows as they prepare to take a summer vacation. If the entire week continues in the pattern set by Castle on ABC last night I am pretty sure that I will not live to see Friday. It was almost too much for me to handle. I mean, the ending where Castle holds Beckett, can I just say WOW! But more than that, it was the scene in the airplane hangar that really did me in; the crying, the compassion, the overall tenderness and horror of the whole thing was overwhelming. I won’t give anything away because everyone should look it up and watch it. With a box of Kleenex. And possibly a defibrillator – just in case.

Okay, well now it’s time to settle in for NCIS on CBS. I’ve watched the previews about a million times and if anything happens to Ziva I will NOT be okay. I’m just saying. Ooh, but maybe this will be an opportunity for Tony and Ziva to realize their true feelings for each other. Keep your fingers crossed!

Thursday night is Bones on FOX. Don’t bother calling me between 8:00 and 9:00 because I will be screaming at my television. That’s what I did last week anyway. Not words, just screams. And in the tradition of season finales this ending has to be bigger and better than the one before it so we know it’s going to be GREAT/Absolutely Awful!!

Then we’ll have to go an entire summer before we can see all of our favorite characters again. Eek! How will I possibly survive?!

 

It is quite possible that I put too much energy into my television watching. Maybe.

Thank You Notes

It was one year ago today that Jacob and I lost our only child to a severe birth defect. During the last twelve months we have gone through the grieving process and Jake’s deployment overseas. It has been emotionally draining- sometimes it still is. But there have been people in our lives who have been a blessing that we can not measure. I have never been good at writing thank you notes. There are many people who deserve a hand written letter of gratitude, but a public online acknowledgement will probably have to do instead.

• Mom and Dad Fiala – Okay, words can’t ever express the feelings of a daughter to her parents so just know that I love you so much. Really I am speechless and overwhelmed when I think of everything you have done for me.
• Mom and Dad Schwabedissen – I have the best in-laws in the entire world. I am so grateful that I married into a family where commitment, love, and support are such a big part of your daily lives. I have never felt like an outsider or been afraid to call when I needed something. You are wonderful people and I thank you for letting me marry your son and be a part of your family.
• Sara (and Nate) – I’m so lucky to have found a bosom friend that understands me so well. I’m also lucky that her husband is so understanding and will let me steal her away for a good cry or a good laugh at even some of the strangest hours of the day or night.
• Alex – We have always been close, but I feel that in this last year we have become even closer.  I can’t say that I would have always been at church if it hadn’t been for your support and physical presence in the meetings with me. My testimony stayed strong and I credit that to you and your family who gave me a reason to keep attending.
• Amanda and T.J. – Thank you for giving me a shoulder to cry on (or punch, respectively) and then for always turning my tears into laughter. Your friendship has kept me going on days when I didn’t think that I had it in me to take even another step. 
• O’Leary Staff – Thank you for the monetary donations and the love and prayers you shared on my behalf. The meals and cards were wonderful.  I am grateful that I work with such a dedicated group of individuals who really care about their coworkers and their students.
• Garrett- Thank you for stepping in and taking care of the house and helping me while Jacob is away. You’ve saved me from untold amounts of stress with your unwavering commitment. Jacob owes you many hours of lost gaming time, which I’m sure he’ll be glad to pay.

I know that there are many wonderful people who have helped, but I can’t possibly write you all long notes now. I have tried to make lists of people who have been helpful in different ways and I just can’t do it. I run the risk of leaving off an important somebody.  Please just know that if you prayed for us, helped us, even smiled to us and tried in anyway to brighten our days, we felt your love and you strengthened us, and for that we thank you! We couldn’t have gotten through this year without you!

Chapter 18: One Year

Dear Julia,

I am always amazed at the difference that one year can make.  I frequently stop and ask myself, “Where was I one year from today?” 

I’ve done that a lot this past year as I’ve hit a lot of milestones. It’s been one year since my appointments to the fertility doctor. It’s been one year since my positive pregnancy test – we were so excited. It’s been one year since I went shopping for maternity clothes. It’s been one year since I first felt you kicking.  It’s been one year since the ultrasound and the day we got your diagnosis of congenital hydrocephalus. And now, dear Julia, it has been one year since you were born. One year ago today- I was having a C-section and you were taking your first breath.

Many of those little milestones went unmentioned, but they never went unnoticed. I felt and remembered every single one of them in my heart.  This is one milestone that will be neither unmentioned or unnoticed. For I want the world to know that I still think about you every day. I look at other little babies- one born a year ago this week, and one born around the time of your actual due date in July. I think about an alternate reality in which you are learning to eat solid foods, sit up by yourself, take your first steps, and say your first words just like those other babies I see. None of those things happened for us like they did for those other families. We had different kinds of milestones this year.

• There was the first Sunday I went back to church (hard enough on its own) but then also had to sit through a baby blessing. I sure was grateful that your daddy had given you a name and a blessing. I was also grateful that I was surrounded by family that day.
• There was the day in June that I had a panic attack in Target because I passed a woman with a baby in her cart and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I ducked behind the first rack of clothes I could find to hide my sobbing from other shoppers. Too bad I had to walk past the baby department to get out of the store.
• There was the day in September that your daddy flew out of the Twin Falls Airport headed to Mississippi and then on to Baghdad, Iraq.  That was a milestone because my life went into limbo and hasn’t felt “right” since. It was also a milestone because even though I had thought I was strong then, I learned I had new levels of strength I didn’t even know about. 
• There was the week in December that I first held a baby that wasn’t you- and didn’t even cry.  (Sweet little Anara, thank you for snuggling.)
• There was the day in March that I sat in Sacrament meeting and listened to a baby blessing and didn’t feel jealousy or anger. That was a turning point for me. It was the week that I realized that I could be happy for other people even if I wasn’t happy for myself. I think that is a sure sign of healing.

Dear Baby Julia, you are a precious darling little girl. In three days time we will be recognizing another one year milestone, but not today. Today I simply want to recognize you and your brief life with some pictures that I haven’t posted before.

Baby bump!

More baby bump!

Blogging- because that’s what I do when I’m stressed.

Getting cleaned up and getting help breathing. It’s a hard thing to do by yourself when you’re so little.

That bili light for your jaundice sure was bright. You had to wear the silliest little eye covers.

We loved to touch you. In fact, we could barely keep our hands off of you.

Grandparents- you’re the first granddaughter on both sides, you know. They were right there with all of us the whole time.

There were so many wires and tubes everywhere that holding you was challenging. Luckily we had very skilled nurses and therapists to help.

P.S. I know I’m not supposed to post things that will upset Daddy, but let’s be honest. He’s probably a little upset today anyway. Maybe some of these pictures will remind him of how happy we were one year ago today. If anything, I hope that they remind him of how much I love him. Because I do love him -  very much.

And I love you baby girl. Happy 1st Birthday!

 

(Pictures by Sara Bliss, mostly).

SEW Happy

Today I have a funny story for you all. At least, I think its funny. You see, our house has this great big family room in the basement, and when we first moved in I suggested that we use the space for a nice, big quilting frame that I could keep up all year long. Jake thought that was a bad idea and that we should get a pool table instead. So, we got a pool table. And I am very glad. Look at how useful it is:

Just last week I used the pool table when I hemmed curtains for a friend, and when I worked on binding a quilted table runner, and then when my sister-in-law and I worked on making skirts! So, thanks Jake! I really enjoy using this great workspace to help me cultivate my sewing talent! 

 

P.S. Frank likes it too!