Chapter 2 -- They Told Us

Sometimes author's leave you with a cliffhanger because they know you'll come back for the rest of the story. Sometimes they leave you with a cliff hanger because they don't know where the story was going from there. I will be leaving cliff hangers because I am not yet strong enough to acknowledge what happens next. . .

The doctors in Boise were fabulous!!!!! Our wait in the waiting room was relatively short. Everyone was very nice and very informative. There wasn't a single person who made our trip there worse than it was already going to be. The technician, Susie, took lots of pictures and sent most of them home with us. Then Dr. Lee came in to review the ultrasound pictures. He was straightforward and honest. He told us a lot of bad news but this is the first time that I didn't want to hurt the messenger. I wanted to hug him for being such a good guy. Here are some of the things he told us.

He told us that on a scale of 1-10 this was a 9 in severity.
He told us that she will probably not go full term.
He told us it is better that way because she won't be able to live more than a few days if she does go full term.
He told us that even though he sounded pessimistic, the pediatric neurosurgeon was even more pessimistic and would probably not be willing to do any drastic measures to try and save her.
He told us he was very sorry.
He told us that many people would terminate at this point.
He told us we had until the fetus was at 23 weeks gestation to complete that act. (That gives us until this Friday). We told him no.
He told us not to blame ourselves.
He told us he was very sorry.

Everyone left us alone for about half an hour to digest that information. We cried and hugged each other. Then a really nice girl named Amber came in. She introduced herself as a genetic counselor. She asked us to come to her office. (It wasn't really her office though. The name plate said Heather. idk) She told us lots of interesting things too.

She told us that there are three things that cause hydrocephalus: infections, genetics, and random bad luck.
She told us that the infections (CMV and toxoplasmosis)are very, very hard to get.
She told us that genetics does not mean hereditary. Genetics means there was an extra chromosome given. Some of the most severe and well known are called Trisomy 21 (down syndrome), Trisomy 18, and Trisomy 13.
She told us that random bad luck only repeats itself on a 3-5% regularity.
She told us not to blame ourselves.
She told us she was sorry.
She told us that if we wanted to know which of the three things caused the hydrocephalus we should do an amniocentesis, a procedure which draws amniotic fluid from around the baby.
She told us she was sorry.

We went back to an ultrasound room. We met with the same nice ultrasound technician, Susie (do they have an official title, i don't know). We met Dr. Lee's nurse. I don't remember her name but I liked her immediately. She had a thick British accent and she called Jake "Love". As in "Can I get you some water, Love?" All people delivering bad news should do it in a cool British accent. It's much more pleasant to listen to. Plus, she was nice.

Dr. Lee did an amniocentesis. I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see the needle going into my belly. Jake held my hand against his face. He's such a good guy. The procedure didn't hurt too badly. I got scared when Baby Girl started kicking around though. I didn't want her to get hurt by the big needle.

Nice British nurse told us how to procede after the amnio.
She told me to stay hydrated.
She told me not to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds. (That rules out the cat, who currently weighs 13 pounds)
She told me not to do any intense exercising. (That has never been my problem).

We came home and held a family council with moms, dads, and siblings. They're such good people. I love them all. They listened to everything we had to say. They asked only a few questions. Then they told us things too.

They told us we were valiant spirits for taking this on.
They told us that we would be blessed for enduring our trials.
They told us they loved us.
They reminded us of the valiant ones who stood against Satan in heaven.
They told us we were giving this little girl a body so that she could be resurrected at the 2nd coming of Christ.
They told us of other women who are carrying babies that aren't going to make it.
They told us to enjoy feeling my belly move with life, because many women never get that experience.
They told us that Grandma Donna would come and get her and watch over her until we could have her back again.
They told us that we were an eternal family because of the covenants that we made in the temple.


The Spirit told us they were right.

Thank you for your prayers. Please keep them coming. We know we can survive this but we know we can't do it alone.